Tips To Creating More Positive Parenting Habits

Even  with the best intentions sometimes we get a feeling, the feeling becomes thought, and the thought becomes a habit—an unproductive one that unfortunately goes on automatic pilot.  Breaking a bad habit comes with the ability to overcome the fear of changing it by facing it and staring it down.  We hold on to bad habits because they serve a purpose that gives us more comfort or satisfaction than the discomfort and concentrated effort it takes to get rid of it.

 

Bad habits give us more pleasure than pain, and it’s the reason we continue to hold on to them. It takes time and patience to break the pattern.  For example, you may have developed the practice of not really listening to what your child says because you are too distracted or have developed selective listening.  Unfortunately, this less obvious habit can cause a breakdown in communication.

 

There are three things you can do to create a more positive parenting habit.  First, search inside yourself and become aware of “WHY” you developed it.  Second, the “WHY” to change has to be big enough; otherwise, it will go right on the list with all the other goals never achieved.  If the “WHY” isn’t big enough, the motivation to change won’t become a driving force. Third, you need to pay attention to “WHEN” the trigger hits.   The trigger is the physical or emotional cue that lets you know you are about ready to repeat the habit.

 

Using the above example, the trigger might be that you hear your child’s voice.  It will alert you to be vigilant to stop and shut everything else out, (if possible) make eye contact, and focus totally on what your child is saying.  An old trick to help with that is to wear an elastic band on your wrist; and when you hear your child’s voice, snap the elastic.  It will snap you right into alertness and a little pain! This old trick is an effective way distract you from the trigger that preceeds the behavior.

 

Lastly, decide on a positive behavior to take its place.  Create a picture in your mind how the positive habit will build confidence, build better communication, and build a better relationship with your child.

 

Donna McGoff, M.S.

The Power Of Play–Learn Through Your Children’s Eyes

Let’s take a look at our children for a moment while they are at play.  Let’s observe how they respond to their environment.  They view their surroundings through a fresh, natural, uninhibited lens—interacting with the world with a spontaneity that we sometimes seem to a lose a hold of as we pass through the stages of life . Children act in their world with a naturalness and unrestricted imagination that sometimes becomes illusive to us as adults.

As we grow and become conditioned through life experiences, we begin to form beliefs and attitudes that sometimes get in the way of experiencing opportunities and possibilities that are right in front of us.  As we begin to limit our vision of what is relevant to our lives in the moment,  we narrow the lens restricting the panoramic view of a more promising future.  As we lose sight of different perspectives and options that would allow us to harvest and reap the rewards of greater clarity and awareness, we settle for the ordinary and complacent.

Children, who are curious by nature, ask questions about everything.  Do we do the same or do we worry that we may appear foolish or dim-witted to others?  Do we analyze the question in our minds first to decide what others’ attitudes or reactions might be? Do we end up not asking the question at all? 

As parents, our limiting attitudes and beliefs oftentimes don’t allow us to see what the true reality is—and not the illusion we may have created.  Our lens becomes too focused and narrow to be completely honest and open about what we see.

Should we get down there and play with our children?  Absolutely, we should and on a daily basis.  Absolutely, we should climb outside our  self-created molds or climb over the walls of our self-made narrow-minded perspectives and experience the freedom—freedom to be in the present moment with the interaction of play.

Your child can teach you to remember what you once knew—the liberation and joy that play can bring.  It can open up your mind once again to the panoramic vision you once had of the world.  Creativity and an awakened flow of imagination will show you new doors to go through that might otherwise be missed.  There is a lot you can learn about life through your child’s eyes, so get down there and play.

 

GOAL LIFE COACHING GETS SOLUTIONS–STAY ON TOP OF YOUR GAME!

Goal Life Coaching Gets Solutions—Stay on Top of Your Game

Throughout history, those living above the ordinary, you know, those exceptional, auspicious individuals who have been fortunate enough to have developed their talent and creative ability—have enlisted the help of coaches.  Why?  Coaches help them to stay on top of their game.  High achievers recognize they need someone who is objective in their point of view, have the ability to recognize patterns of mistakes, and also keep them motivated—to stay clear, focused, sharp, and always moving forward.  Life Coaching has gone mainstream simply because everyday people want the same results in their own personal life giving them the ability to lives the best life then can—and they want it in a shorter period of time.

                It’s for healthy people who want to align themselves with someone who will guide them through self discovery, client generated strategies and solutions, and accountability for achieving goals.  It is not therapy or counseling.  The focus is not on past issues, past experiences, or past behaviors—but rather a focused pragmatic, forward  thinking way to help achieve goals and create harmony and balance in life.  It’s not necessary to know why there is a particular behavior; all that’s necessary is to know what’s going to be done to change it.

                The power of goal setting is released when it is written down and specifically describes the goal in detail.  The most important component is the date.  If there is no date, there is no goal!  It makes the goal measureable and puts the responsibility on the goal setter who is also being held accountable to it.  Next, the obstacles and action steps follow.  Goal setting is a skill that can be learned—just like learning to ride a bike or typing on a keyboard. 

Goal life coaching will help you get to solutions that will move you from the past and into the present where the awareness of opportunities and possibilities will allow you to be the author of your own future life story.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Donna McGoff, Life Coach~ Living…ON PURPOSE

You Have the Answers Inside .  A Life Coach Helps You

Get Them In Front Of You Much More Quickly!

Call for Complimentary Consultation

at 401-662-2707

To See If Life Coaching Is For You!

 

What?

• Life coaching services are for healthy people who want to align themselves with someone who will guide them through self discovery, client generated strategies and solutions, and accountability for achieving goals.  

• It is not therapy or counseling.   The focus is not on past issues, past experiences, or past behaviors—but rather a focused pragmatic, forward thinking way to help clients achieve goals and create harmony and balance in life. 

• It’s not necessary to know why there is a particular behavior; all that’s necessary is to know what’s going to be done to change it.

Why?

• Ready to break out of unsatisfactory life patterns and want to learn how to create a richer, more successful life?
• Ready to break out of the form-fitting mold unconsciously created for yourself or one that was created for you—and consciously design a new blueprint that represents your OWN TRUE LIFE PURPOSE?
• Ready to break out of grip of fear and self doubt that crops up whenever intuition says, “It’s time to make a change in work or lifestyle”?

How?

• Helps overcome limiting attitudes and conditioned beliefs created through life experiences through changing self talk
• Helps build new perspectives empowering you to make better choices—moving out of comfort zone and gain courage to take action.
• Helps you gain confidence and courage to take action through active goal setting

EVERYDAY PEOPLE WANT THE SAME RESULTS IN THEIR OWN PERSONAL LIVES GIVING THEM THE ABILITY TO LIVE THE BEST THEY CAN—IN A SHORTER PERIOD OF TIME.  ARE YOU READY TO DO WHAT IT TAKES TO GET THERE?

Life Coach, A.F.A.A. Personal Trainer, teacher counselor, MS in Human Development Counseling and Family Studies, and published author of board game, Use Your I”s.

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